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#fridayflash – The Sacrifice

I’ve decided I really need to increase my output when it comes to my writing, so one of the ways I want to do this, is to participate in #fridayflash. This is a twitter meme in which you write and publish a piece of flash fiction (a story of 1000 words or less) and then link to it on twitter with the hashtag #fridayflash. I’m going to try and put something new out every week. So, without further ado, here is my first contribution:

The Sacrifice

by PC Wheeler

She killed the god. Her blade shone Jewell bright in the moonlight with holy blood, but the the blood that spilled from the god’s side was a deep, dark stain across the ground. Not even the scent of the jasmine flowers, carried on the summer breeze, could cover the rotten stench that emanated from his wound.

How long would it be before the god’s brothers and sisters knew what she had done. She was not a god – only a mortal thing whose death would be as easy as brushing a fly off one of their sleeves. This god’s death was not easy. Killing a god had ramifications. But it was done, and she must be gone.

Sword in hand, she fled from the ruins. Down the wooded hill she ran. The gown they had dressed her in was little protection against the thorny underbrush that scraped and tore at her legs. The girl felt no pain, even as her bare feet encountered sharp stones. What scared her more was the trail of blood she left in her wake. A trail could lead them to her.

She needed help but the lights of the city below would be no safe haven. They would be glad she killed the god. But they would receive the backlash for the dead god. Nobody would dare to hide her.

The sea, perhaps. There she could get passage on a boat and sail to foreign lands – places that never knew the gods. But all she had was the gown she wore and the bloody sword. The sword was his sword – the god’s. She could sell it for passage if she could reach the sea and the harbor.

Her decision was made in an instant. She veered right, not stopping, and continued down the hill, this time with the view of the black ocean peeking between the trees instead of the twinkling lights. If she could reach the harbor, if she could barter for the sword, if she could gain passage on a foreign ship, and all before the gods came…

The ground began to tremble and she tripped and fell. She got up and continued on.  A high pitched wail began. She refused to look behind her, back up the hill towards the ruins where she had killed the god. She didn’t want to know.

A light flashed in front of her and she was blinded. She fell again, this time sprawling forward and rolling to a stop against the trunk of a tree. She tried to rise but as she tested her foot, pain spiked up from her ankle. Then, she felt a hand around her arm pulling her upright. The black faded from her eyes and she saw the woman who had helped her.

Her hair was gold, her skin was bronze and her eyes the color of polished silver. She wore a torc of jet around her throat. She was a god.

“You killed my brother,” the god said.

The girl did not speak. No words would save her.

“Every year I place one of his swords under the altar, and every year I hope. But every year he rapes and kills another child and grows stronger, fed by the fear of his people.” The god reached out and placed a benediction on her brow. “But not this year. This year you found the sword. You were the one. You have saved your people from him. No longer will they need to send their daughters up the hill.”

The girl found her tongue. “What will happen to them now?”

“Do not be afraid – they will not be godless. I will take his place. I will demand no sacrifice, only love and worship for the blessings I will give them.”

She still clutched the god’s sword, so it was easy enough to step back and swing. The sword was light as a feather, but powerful. It removed the god’s head cleanly from her shoulders.

On second thought, perhaps she would keep the sword. The torc would buy her passage just as easily.

 

Photo credit: demondimum from morguefile.com

Posted in FridayFlash, Samples, Writing.

Tagged with , , , , .


16 Responses

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  1. Raven Corinn Carluk says

    Good start with a career of deicide.

    • PC Wheeler says

      Definitely could be. Godslayer or something like it.

  2. Sonia Lal says

    Way to go for the girl.

    • PC Wheeler says

      Thanks for commenting!

  3. J. M. Strother says

    Nice debut. That opening line was quite the hook for me.

    Welcome to #FridayFlash.
    ~jon

    • PC Wheeler says

      Thanks for the welcome. Hope to post more.

  4. Helen says

    Oh for a minute there I thought she had come across an enlightened god, but when she said worship I thought what choice did the girl have but to cut off her head. Hope she has a safe trip!

    Nice story!

    • PC Wheeler says

      Originally the god was going to be enlightened, but the story took the twist on it’s own. I rather like ti too.

  5. Chuck Allen says

    Very interesting story. I didn’t see the second killing coming at all. Great job!

    And welcome to #FridayFlash. :)

    • PC Wheeler says

      Thanks! I hope to be a little more productive and put out more stuff.

  6. Harmony says

    Do not be afraid – they will not be godless. I will take his place. I will demand no sacrifice, only love and worship for the blessings I will give them.”

    She still clutched the god’s sword, so it was easy enough to step back and swing. The sword was light as a feather, but powerful. It removed the god’s head cleanly from her shoulders.

    You go girl! (both you and the character rock!)

    • PC Wheeler says

      I’m finding that writing flash fiction or short stories with a fantasy theme is hard. It’s so easy when the universe, characters et al are already assumed – such as in fanfiction, and the reader already has a sense of the massiveness behind the snapshot, so to speak, that lends weight to the writing. But writing a short piece from scratch, and trying to convey that other reality in just a few words – that’s really tough. It’s something I’ve been struggling with – and I want to write more short pieces – so I’m just going to commit myself to trying to write one a week.

  7. Aidan Fritz says

    Well thought out world with a strong character. I like how she decides that even a benevolent god isn’t necessary for the city. Flash is a difficult space for fantasy because you have to juggle world, character, and plot into so few words. You’ve done well with this one. I’ve been working to get my own as short as possible, it is an interesting challenge.

    • PC Wheeler says

      Thank you – for me the best characters are an organic thing – they grow out from their circumstances until they tell you how the story is going to go.

  8. ~Tim says

    Well done and a nice twist too. Welcome to #FridayFlash.

    • PC Wheeler says

      Thanks! Glad you liked it.



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